This is the third blog post I have started in as many days. I often put these starter posts in my “draft” folder when my energy fizzles out or my focus changes so that I can come back to them. I have a lot of posts as drafts right now. Not all are salvageable.
I had a good post last week that just flowed out and was really easy. A few re-reads, a few words changed, and it was done. Bingo, bango, bongo. It felt good.
This week I wrote, re-wrote, re-wrote, abandoned, retrieved and re-wrote a post. I got sidetracked and changed it to focus on something else and then went back to my original idea. I added some thoughts and then somehow made it seem like two really different posts with no congruence. I started to write about running and that had nothing to do with anything in the post.
I feel out of ideas, or at least ideas that I can muster into something. I got a few more followers this week and suddenly feel pressured to perform. I have half-cocked thoughts that I scribble through and let my husband read. “What was this supposed to be about?” he asks me. Not a good sign.
I’ve been doing more reading of blog posts the last few days. I either need to read faster or pare down the blogs I follow. It’s good to read and generate some ideas. But it seems that from lack of time, to likes and self-love, to writing, to accents, to advice columns, to complacency waiting, to being Bumble Pressed all the topics have been covered. And those are just the ones off the top of my head; there were more. My ideas bucket is not feeling heavy.
I’m not all backed-up with writer’s constipation, I just am trying to write on demand. I am trying to write on the demands of time and schedules I have set for myself. I know everyone gets this way once in a while, and re-posting is a good way to fill the gap. But I don’t want to. I’d rather just leave that day blank.
I’m not going to ask you to bear with me, or excuse why some of my post-days* may be void. This is just how things are. I’m writing this here for myself as personal encouragement.
It’s not filler, it’s a bridge. I will now publish “add new post.”
*post-days: days that I post. Like work-days, except usually my involvement is more creative and inspired.