For someone with little spare time I make a lot of lists. Lists keep me focused, goal-oriented, and pat me on the back as I scratch out another item as complete. Sometimes I will do something, write it down on the list after, and then smile to myself as I cross it off. Finito!
When I look back and want to reflect on the past 12 months, I think of my lists. My lists included my hopes, aspirations, and random ideas that I wanted to manifest.
I plan a lot, using my lists. I had hoped to take some time to write weekly dinner plans. I don’t like cooking but somehow the kids always need to eat. I buy almost the same groceries every week, and yet still have no idea what to make for dinner. The intention was there but I couldn’t motivate myself enough. I don’t plan meals because I know a bowl of cereal will always do in a pinch.
I plan things that involve me and that cause me stress if they are not done. I plan all my workouts: I know when I will swim, when I have yoga class, when I will run, when I will be at bootcamp, or when I will go to the gym. This demonstrates my priorities, maybe. My planning led me to train for and run a full marathon this year. I hadn’t planned to run a marathon (ever), but someone asked me why I was doing all this training. For all my micro-calculations and getting up at 5am to exercise, I realized I should have a goal. I made many lists leading up to this goal.
I also made a list of things I could do for myself. It was short but included things that had sat in the ideas/basement storage area of my brain for a long time. One of these ideas was a blog. I knew I liked to keep a record and had created a travelog a few years ago of our adventures when we lived in Tennessee. I really liked how I had created a snapshot of our time being there as a family. Still, I did no planning to start this current blog. I picked a name, found WordPress because a friend was blogging on it, and started typing.
I wrote a retro-list on what blogging has taught me these last 7 months. Mostly it taught me that the things I shy away from in person are things I gravitate towards in virtual life.
Given that it’s nearing year-end, and the world could end momentarily (Thank you Mayans!), it is somewhat fitting to acknowledge what has come, what has gone, and what has stayed. I appreciate where blogging has moved me. It has given me a creative outlet, but also challenged me when I felt uninspired. It has shown me a community, but also encouraged me to participate. It has invited me to express more of myself, but to remember to be honest and natural and loving.
What has gone is gone because it had fulfilled its purpose. I thank you, dear readers, for coming and staying.
This blog is my ongoing list of memories.