This lame day is not tomorrow

This season of transition seems to take a long time. How am I supposed to know when I have turned the corner on change?

Today I got up and was in the pool early for my swim. It was a good swim; for a moment or two I actually felt like a swimmer. The strokes were smooth and effortless, my legs felt strong, and my breathing was strong and controlled. It was good to be in the water again.

Dubbo swimming pool

The rest of the morning was somewhat rushed, but I’d planned my morning the night before (lunches for kids, clothes for work, blah, blah) and got out of the house reasonably well.

The rest of the day was chaos. Crazy and strange stories at work that left me feeling frustrated, angry, and questioning my sense of judgment about others, the people I see everyday. We only know what others tell us about themselves and sometimes their reality is surprisingly different.  What people do in their personal lives can be eye-opening and give a different perspective to your opinion. I found out an employee in my building had been charged with a crime, but nothing has yet been proven.

Ελληνικά: εκκίνηση

Most of the night felt like a challenge against gravity in these first two positions.

Running tonight was hard.  The workout was a lot of hills and my body felt defeated. I’ve been running much less lately — the weather’s not as nice, my sense of motivation is low, and I am now needing a break. But running less has caught up to me and I was cramping and not feeling well. I knew that everyone else ahead of  me was also working hard and not feeling great. But somehow when you see people ahead of you you just assume they are having an easier time.

I know that not all days will be strong and easy. I knew today was going to be a struggle as we got out to do our warm-up. I still felt angry from the day and was having a hard time reconciling this in my head. Then to go and try to exert myself physically was just not the feeling I wanted.

I spent over an hour doing homework with my daughter, and now just want to go to crawl into bed. I am tired on my double-workout days, but usually I am also energized from the effort and feel content in my efforts. Today I feel angry, sad, twisted, and broken.

Tomorrow, tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

Have you ever wanted to just give up and start your day again?

* Have you ever found out something about someone that made you see them in a whole new light?

(Photo credit: State Records NSW), (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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9 thoughts on “This lame day is not tomorrow

  1. I wish I could start many days over, but it’s usually because of something I said. I get angry and frustrated when i feel like I’m the only one in the house doing anything – constantly picking up, wiping up, cleaning up. Then I snap and start barking at my family, but that doesn’t make me feel any better. I wish I could start those days over and be more reasonable, but I can’t. So I take a deep breath, go for a run and then have a glass of wine; that helps.

    PS. I was not having an easier time than you on those hills…I too felt completely gutted and defeated.

  2. With your permission, I would add your blog to my Blogroll. I’m planning on it, and if you veto it, just reply to this comment with same. Otherwise, I was alarmed that I’d missed your running blog for my blogroll. I knew something was missing!

  3. I think it’s sometimes hard to keep the momentum going after a race. You train for months, are focused on an end product, and then suddenly it’s all over. It’s hard to re-enter the “normal” world again. Maybe that’s some of what you’re struggling with lately?

    • Definitely the post-race blah is sinking in. With dark days there is not enough Vitamin D to be had and so I think I feel more tired than usual.
      It’s hard to balance wanting to do new and different activities with having low energy to go out and do them. Need to keep running, though: have to combat the winter fat.

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