So close yet so far

When you have a date in mind anticipation can be killer, so can getting sick.

I wrote last time about my injured knee. Turns out it was taking the blame on behalf of my foot and hip. So my chiro stretched and pulled and pushed and prodded (all in gentle yet painful ways) and I am walking up stairs again! But the running? Not so much…

My body responded well to my chiropractic treatment, but just not well enough. I went out for my Wednesday night run to test it and made it through the warm up. About 10 minutes into the run my knee hurt again and I was scared smart enough to stop and not continue aggravating the situation. More medical appointments, rest, and many crossed fingers for the next few days.

It is now less than 2 weeks til my race day. My fingers tremble a little as I type this. The days are both long and short, as so many emotions ramble along with me each moment. I am as ready as I can be for this run. I could not have put another ounce of energy into a training run or hill workout or speedwork session. I have given and expended and strengthened and gained fitness.

Elphinstone Winning Washington marathon (LOC)

How did this guy’s knee (and mind) feel? (Photo credit: The Library of Congress)

I have grown mentally stronger as well — which is most surprising to me. I had accepted a status quo for myself a while ago and figured I had achieved what I could. But running around the track the other day, I realized I was running faster than I ever had, and was not panicked. I was okay, and I was doing it! Going fast scares me. I worry that part of my head will explode from the emotions and fears of doing something I did not think I was capable of. It’s like having your wildest dreams and passing them by, as if in slow motion. The trick is to run through your fears, and dreams.

Then you are suddenly better than your wildest dreams. It’s breathtaking. I think that’s the part that makes me gasp and hyperventilate when I’m running. That’s me saying, “Look! I’m doing it. I’d better stop!”

I’m nervous and excited, and this will continue until the gun goes off on race day and we start moving.

I’m also a little sick. My son has coughed a little the last few days, but I have a sore throat and slightly swollen glands. I think I’m okay, because it only happened last night (I could feel the exact moment: one moment fine, next moment gagging to swallow). I don’t have a fever and I’m not more achy than I have been.

Positive thinking is in full force now. I will be fine, I will not get sick. My knee will get better. This is good practice; I’ll be using up my allotment of positive thinking to get me through those hours of racing.

In two weeks it will be just an easy Sunday run along with all my friends, a few thousand strangers, and a number pinned to my shirt.


9 thoughts on “So close yet so far

  1. I’m sending all my positive vibes your way. You are smart to back off and take a few days to monitor your knee. I’m going through something similar. I can’t seem to shake a persistent cough and asthma this past week and a half, and decided to take a few days off to do nothing but rest and pamper myself. Three weeks out from my race, it’s tough to lose the momentum, but I’d rather deal with this now than right before the race.

    You’ve done all the work and should be fine on race day. Even if the worst happens, there are other races and you’ll be able to get back to your former level fairly quickly. Hang in there!

    • Thanks so much Angela. I think we need to listen to our bodies, not just get to race day at any expense.
      I just got back from the physio who really worked me over, but in a very good way and got to the root of some of the pain in my knee. As usual, my knee is not the problem, it’s just where the pain showed up.

      Take good care of yourself, too, and rest up well. Breathing is important for running!

      I think I have nothing to gain and everything to lose being so close to race day. I don’t need to be putting in big runs or being on my feet. I’m getting my head in a positive head space and will allow my body the rest it needs and be ready for great things.

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