I read an article today about journal writing. It talked about how we don’t keep secrets anymore and we tend to be too honest on our blogs. The message was basically that it’s okay to keep something back. I agree. But it got me thinking: why do we have secrets? Or, why do we feel the urge to tell what we know? Talking about yourself is sharing, talking about another is gossip.
I think we keep secrets for fear of hurting another. We keep secrets out of fear of repercussions. We keep secrets out of embarrassment. I think that whatever we choose to do, it has to be for the higher purpose of everyone involved. If it means that someone ends up hurt, perhaps that was the lesson to be had, or perhaps our choices were not thought out with conscientiousness. They were merely for gain or pleasure or satisfaction. If everyone involved is okay with a choice, why is that a secret?
Secrets are about withholding something. We have secrets when we are younger because holding something back is part of the fun, or part of the exclusion. We have secrets as we get older because we want to know what is appropriate and we want to avoid anything awkward as we learn. Later, we keep secrets to protect someone from the truth, and reality.
Everyone tells you it’s better to know than to not know. We all know the truth, but subliminally agree to perpetuate a false version and pretend our intuition and consciousness are not to be trusted. Eventually, we get to the same place; it’s the path we choose that provides different degrees of growth or change for us. We may learn the same lesson, it’s how quickly we assimilate it that varies. Assessing our fears determines what we are willing to share, and what we are willing to keep secret.
Some people need to talk about their secrets. They feel unburdened when they are finally able to voice the story they have kept to themselves. I think honesty is pretty important and fessing up to something that you feel torn about is better to communicate and resolve.
Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple. – Dr. Seuss
Nothing happens until something moves. – Albert Einstein
There are also things we don’t (yet) disclose because we want to treasure them a little longer alone. Our little triumphs, our silent accomplishments that you cheer for as a party of One. “We, no, I did it”, you tell yourself.
I don’t know if I have any secrets to share. I know there are parts of my life that are special to me. Perhaps they will not feel as special if I told them to you. Maybe that’s all a secret really is: something that you feel is more special to you than to someone else. Talking about it would perhaps diminish it. You don’t want to have to defend it or justify it in any way to keep it just as it is.
If we are honest with ourselves, we have no secrets. If we can accept that we haven’t been truthful to someone because we are not yet able or willing, that’s our secret. It’s okay to wait until we are in a place where the truth is right for everyone. But don’t wait too long, the secret will turn into a lie.
If the broom fits, fly it.
*Confess to me. What do you think about secrets?