Shorter days. Shorter nights. Work stress. Winding down. Winding up. Lights of the seasons. Songs. Carols. Baking. Cookies. The chaos and joy of an elementary school winter concert. Making changes. Seeing the same things differently. Feeling overwhelming. Anticipating vacation. Hating vacation time. Off kilter schedules. More running. Staying in bed. The feeling of wet blankets.Wanting to cancel Christmas. Taking care of me. Letting it all go. Picking up some pieces and eating cookies. Counting days forwards and backwards. Waiting for light. Waiting for change. Holding my breath. Breathing it out. Stomach flu. Starting the New Year at 10pm.
Most days I write down five things I am grateful for, big or small, subtle or apparent. I archive and post the list monthly. This is December 2013.
choosing to take care of myself instead of running with the pack (literally) — giving the kids options — the lady who gave me the last available parking space when we both arrived at the same time — that allowing -and doing- what I could in yoga was enough — the feeling after yoga of being present but spacey.
that I can listen to someone who just needed to talk — that a friend decided to book a spontaneous vacation — the lovely snowy photos that my mom sent — feeling efficient when I set my mind to doing the jobs that I have long avoided — that feeling of coming home after the house has been cleaned.
the lovely wrapping in the package I got in the mail — organizing appointments without feeling overwhelmed — that it was so cold, but the sunshine was so brilliant — running in the cold and feeling rejuvenated — that the kids were organized and efficient in getting homework done so they could go watch the parade.
some resolution on work issues — ignoring other work issues — strangers — that the kids can feed the cat — feeling warm at home.
cancelled soccer practice – still enjoying running in the cold — no rain — new upgrades on cel phones — early birthday presents.
that the work day went so quickly — my son feeling sick and being so snuggly — getting new windows in the house — the house feeling cozy and warmer because of the new windows — trusting myself to make the right decisions.
soccer practice cancelled due to extreme weather — sleeping in due to extreme weather — extra chocolately hot chocolate (due to extreme weather) — a glorious, sun-blessed, blissful 1.5 hour run – feeling so content.
the new friend and his house where my kid seems to spend most of the weekend — the extra space / quiet in the house when there is only one kid — baking cookies with my son — going to yoga — my husband for taking the kids to the musical “Annie!”
delicious new tea thanks to a gift card — brunch — having an easy transition into the christmas season — less expectations — silence in my head.
that I had this day even though it got away from me!
the day to myself — that my counselor can handle both the running stuff and the rest of my life — sleeping in — that my christmas shopping was successful and pleasant — gratitude for abundance.
that the rain held off when I went for a run — only having to bring juice to the kids christmas potluck — that I don’t have to pick up after soccer practice — that my husband brought home take-out — that I chose to go to bed early.
heated car seat warmers — getting new tires on the car and feeling safer when driving — gluten-free cookies — warm tea — being recognized in a coffee shop.
making it to a neighbourhood xmas party — people actually eating my potluck dish — the kids’ friends and their kindness — getting home early — going for a run that was all ME time.
getting my workouts done with ease — clean sheets! — the christmas lights being hung on the house — the pause and refresher that yoga gave me — the quiet drive home after yoga.
that this is my last week of work before taking holidays — the quiet of the morning — making progress on a puzzle — that I was firm but fair at bedtime and my son finally agreed — the Christmas lights outside the house.
that the kids woke up happy — remembering to do errands on my breaks — getting errands done on my breaks — the free drink at Starbucks — a fun and inspiring run workout with others.
a day off — the kids winter concert — the effort and patience the teacher put into their classes — walking home with the kids — climbing into bed after a long day.
the satisfaction of finishing a big piece of ‘sky’ on a puzzle — lacing up new running shoes — the joy of exertion going for a run — the cold weather that I could still run in — having dinner already made.
last day of work — the kids excitement for my birthday — a delicious meal — talking to friends and family — the nifty FB reminders everyone gets to say it’s my birthday.
first day of sleeping in — getting up early anyhow and having the quiet to myself — baking cookies in silence — the sense of accomplishment of getting something done that could be disastrously long — re-watching a movie I enjoyed so long ago.
that I set my alarm and also slept in to it — a planned run — the surprise of cookies that were so delicious — the fog and rain and good company on my run — not worrying about time or pace or distance but just letting things be.
sleep — (making & eating) cookies — that my husband got the xmas tree – that the kids decorated the xmas tree — xmas tree lights.
not meeting expectations and respecting myself — running in the middle of the day — no rain — that my husband made xmas dinner — getting through christmas (part I).
vegenaise – that my husband did social things without expecting me to do the same (christmas part II) — extra pillows on the bed — lots of me time — letting the day go by without needing to be attached to it.
mailing parcels — receiving parcels — re-watching Harry Potter movies — starting a good book and getting lost in it — knowing others feel like I do.
getting caught up on healthcare paperwork — the kids being sick and reminding me to slow down — realizing that holidays don’t have schedules — being able to sleep 10 hours a night! — strange dreams to let me walk in another reality.
the way the new tires on the car make the car feel like new — trail shoes — running without orthotics — the saleslady at the shoe store who was so low key and fed my kids cookies — going out for dinner.
short lines at the post office — board games — binge watching TV series marathons — reminding myself to let go — knowing that when things feel worse is a good reminder of what you don’t want.
still sleeping in — choosing what I want rather than what I should — a bandaid for my most painful blister — experimenting with cookie recipes — that it still hasn’t rained in downpours over the holidays.
last day of the year — being able to stay home and stay in bed when everyone is sick — not going for a run and overdoing my queasiness — drinking tea — sipping ginger ale and saying happy new year at 10:00pm.