My short reflection
I wasn’t going to write a post about New Year’s eve, day, or resolutions. And yet — here I am.
I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. The whole ‘less is more’ idea, where your happiness depends on a result, hasn’t sat well with me for years. Maybe it’s just how I interpret things. I’m all for turning the page and starting fresh: I’m tackling my marathon training this year with a private coach, and my lovely husband recently bought me my blog domain for my birthday. I am now irunibreathe.com. Welcome! I’m still the same, only shorter.
My New Year’s resolutions would be mostly impossible right now. I would choose to have more hours in a day, or have the sun come out at my beckoning, or only go to work when I felt like it. Sure, I’d like to blog more (if it makes me a better writer and I enjoy it) and run faster and be more patient and lose weight without having to indulge less. Sure, I’d like all those things. And if they fit with my mood and time and focus, they will happen. But it’s not going to break my emotional bank if they don’t. In fact, if things stay as they are, it would also be okay. (Except for the patience part — I do have to work on yelling less).
I’m not a long-term planner. My husband asked me the other day if I have something (major) I’d like to accomplish in the next 20-ish years. I think when you have a family often the underlying statement in this is the caveat of when the kids are gone. I think we all silently believe there will be more money, time, and space when kids leave the house, as well as less laundry, fighting, food to buy, and noise. I’m not sure how this pans out. Anyhow, my husband has plans. He has things he’d like to do. I, however, can’t fathom what I’ll make for dinner tomorrow, or what I’d want to do in 6 months or next year.
I don’t make long-term plans or New Year’s resolutions, because at some level it’s all okay. This is how things are now. Of course there could be improvement, mostly on my part. But how things function or exist or happen is because of my doing. I’m not sure if 2012 was better (or worse) than 2011. I remember that asshole who cut me off in traffic in April but there was no real significance to my life at this event. Meh, it just was.
Have yourselves a happy New Year, wherever you might be, resolute or otherwise.