Getting to maybe
It’s Saturday morning. I got up early: I have only 48 hours before I need to publish a post on Monday morning. I don’t know what to write about. Everyone else is so clever and has such good ideas. Look at Le Clown and his mighty followers: not one bad writer in the bunch. They are funny and their topics resonate so well they have universal appeal. I feel small.
Blogging is about self-expression. We find out who we are by whatever we write about. We can write about anything — all of life is an opportunity for expression and exploration. We aim to make life a part of who we are as bloggers. We choose self-expression; every time we hit Publish it’s acknowledging ourselves and being willing to share this publicly.
I have faith in you.
Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. That helped — for about 15 min. Then I started reading other people’s blogs and their whacky ideas that are so funny and felt awful. My chest started hurting and I got sad all over again.
I thought about maybe writing a post about my hair. Yesterday when we were getting ready to go the ballet I asked if my hair was okay (I wasn’t really going to do anything about it, I was just searching for approval because I was feeling shitty). My Sweet told me it was fine, but that maybe I could tie it back. I asked why, and he said there was just so *much* of it.
I didn’t do anything with my hair and it wasn’t much of a topic. I realized that my ideas about that post were pretty much done. A short conversation and no point or emotion or humour to it.
It feels like everything is like this lately. I want to be able to write something that feels accessible, and not just create a lame complain-y niche that I can’t get out of. But then I never know if anything is good, or bad, and worry that no one will “like” it and no one will comment. I’m trying to be like other people because it seems like people like other people. I just can’t write like other people and so I don’t like me much.
Have you seen my name? Keep *breathing* deeply.
I understand how you feel. Getting instant gratification through comments or likes or however you want to measure what you are doing is hard when your measurements are so singular and limiting.
When we are searching for what to write about, we want to find something that gets us to ‘maybe’. If we can find something that is a maybe, chances are we know the ideas will come and we will be able to make a go of that post. We have made the mistake of starting uninspired so many times just to write that we had to empty the drafts folder just to clear our head. Now we want more maybes.
My point is that blogging is about writing about where we are, and who we are. So when we search for a good idea to blog about, we let it come. We don’t force or rush it. We want to feel good about a topic, and be inspired by an idea. We want to feel like the idea is supportive of us.
I know this doesn’t provide you with topics, but do you understand what I am saying? To appreciate who you are we want to hear more about you.
Thanks, again. Can I just write about what we just talked about? The ‘getting to maybe’ parts of it? I think that makes sense to me. Maybe I just need more maybes.
I’ll go try it.
I’m sensing a blog post here. Be sure to hit Publish.