Getting to maybe

dears

Dear iBreathe,

It’s Saturday morning. I got up early: I have only 48 hours before I need to publish a post on Monday morning. I don’t know what to write about. Everyone else is so clever and has such good ideas. Look at Le Clown and his mighty followers: not one bad writer in the bunch. They are funny and their topics resonate so well they have universal appeal. I feel small.

Anxiously,
iRun

balloonDearest iRun,

Blogging is about self-expression. We find out who we are by whatever we write about. We can write about anything — all of life is an opportunity for expression and exploration. We aim to make life a part of who we are as bloggers. We choose self-expression; every time we hit Publish it’s acknowledging ourselves and being willing to share this publicly.

I have faith in you.
iBreathe

dearsDear iBreathe,

Thanks for your kind words of encouragement. That helped — for about 15 min. Then I started reading other people’s blogs and their whacky ideas that are so funny and felt awful. My chest started hurting and I got sad all over again.

I thought about maybe writing a post about my hair. Yesterday when we were getting ready to go the ballet I asked if my hair was okay (I wasn’t really going to do anything about it, I was just searching for approval because I was feeling shitty). My Sweet told me it was fine, but that maybe I could tie it back. I asked why, and he said there was just so *much* of it.

I didn’t do anything with my hair and it wasn’t much of a topic. I realized that my ideas about that post were pretty much done. A short conversation and no point or emotion or humour to it.

It feels like everything is like this lately. I want to be able to write something that feels accessible, and not just create a lame complain-y niche that I can’t get out of. But then I never know if anything is good, or bad, and worry that no one will “like” it and no one will comment. I’m trying to be like other people because it seems like people like other people. I just can’t write like other people and so I don’t like me much.

Now what?
iRun

balloonDearest iRun,

Have you seen my name? Keep *breathing* deeply.

I understand how you feel. Getting instant gratification through comments or likes or however you want to measure what you are doing is hard when your measurements are so singular and limiting.

When we are searching for what to write about, we want to find something that gets us to ‘maybe’. If we can find something that is a maybe, chances are we know the ideas will come and we will be able to make a go of that post. We have made the mistake of starting uninspired so many times just to write that we had to empty the drafts folder just to clear our head. Now we want more maybes.

My point is that blogging is about writing about where we are, and who we are. So when we search for a good idea to blog about, we let it come. We don’t force or rush it. We want to feel good about a topic, and be inspired by an idea. We want to feel like the idea is supportive of us.

I know this doesn’t provide you with topics, but do you understand what I am saying? To appreciate who you are we want to hear more about you.

With love,
iBreathe

dearsDear iBreathe,

Thanks, again. Can I just write about what we just talked about? The ‘getting to maybe’ parts of it? I think that makes sense to me.  Maybe I just need more maybes.

I’ll go try it.
iRun

ballooniRun,

I’m sensing a blog post here. Be sure to hit Publish.

Your follower,
iBreathe

23 thoughts on “Getting to maybe

  1. What a great post. We all have moments of self-doubt and internal back-and-forths, and I thought you demonstrated it perfectly. :)

    Thanks for stopping by my blog. I appreciate it!

  2. Great post. Getting to maybe is better than standing still at I don’t think so. Maybe you’re putting too much pressure on yourself? We all do, of course. I love it when I tell my better half some funny little thing that happened during the day and he tells me, “That sounds like a blog post.” I’m always amazed when I miss the obvious.

    • I do this as well. I comment on something or recap an event and it’s always “did you write a post about this?” and only then do I realize that this is a good idea.
      I don’t know if it’s being hard on myself, just maybe impatient.

  3. Pingback: Blogroll Inductee – iRun iBreathe | A Clown On Fire

  4. Tania, you’re so funny and such a clever writer. Tell your “Sweet” that I think you’re lucky to have so much hair! I think we all struggle with this sometimes. I wonder will anyone care about what I’m writing, but I usually end up writing it anyway!

    • Amy,
      I graciously accept all your compliments. (and I have really thick hair which I would like to share with anyone willing).
      I think the point is to keep going (with the writing) and that is how we improve. Stopping doesn’t seem to do much, but neither does posting for the sake of posting. I feel pretty intimidated being around such confident and fluid writers via Le Clown. But we all bring something different. I’m looking forward to reading more of your posts.

      T

  5. Tania,
    Congrats on being inducted to the Blogroll. You know the one I mean.

    This was brilliant and I can really identify with iRun. I don’t write funny either, at least most of the time. Sometimes I need to read funny, or snark, or absurd, or complainy niche, oh wait that’s my niche. Anyway, if you made it to the Blogroll your maybes must be great. Breathe on.

    Be well,
    Kina

    • Kina,
      Thank you for your kind words. I am learning that we each find our own niche.
      Le Clown is good at sorting this out. It’s like he keeps his own bag of mixed nuts for the Circus.
      Tania

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